Who Said That?
- Their lino is flagging so much a plane is about to land. Submitted 30 April
- wayne rooney he is a better player but im better looking Submitted 14 April
- There is a lot of holes in these nets! Submitted 14 April
- He's gangly - Like Dave Kingwell? Submitted 10 March
- I've got a mate who plays in goal...well, he plays in goal 5-a-side, sometimes and.....well, he doesn't have any boots but he can buy some, he likes getting muddy and jumping around....his nicknames Big Spoony - do you think you'll need him? Submitted 10 March
- I gave away a penalty by kicking someone in the bollocks Submitted 10 March
- We've got to remember today, we've got to win Submitted 10 March
- Manning used to be quick, then he discovered Burger King Submitted 10 March
- You've got to be pretty lazy to get a bollocking from Manning for being lazy Submitted 10 March
- I lost a pint of blood Submitted 28 January
- Jacko dont shoot, dont shoot. Oh, good goal Submitted 24 December
- I'm not drunk, i'm just not good at changing direction. reserve team goalkeeper Submitted 24 December
- I couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo Submitted 08 October
- Terry reffed.......was he any good? Submitted 08 October
- I've just rubbed deep heat in my eye Submitted 08 October
- What's that 'mind over matter' shit? Submitted 08 October
- Is that your best tracksuit? Submitted 08 October
- I raped him off the team Submitted 08 October
- Linesman is easy when Geoff's in defence, he doesn't move! Submitted 08 October
- I have a sore arse, like Didier Drogba Submitted 08 October
- Q - How long left? A - 20 minutes Q - Is it 6 or 7 nil? A - 6-0 Its still not safe enough to put Jacko on Submitted 08 October
- I'm like a champion greyhound Submitted 08 October
- What are you doing tonight Ricky? ...boogie-ing Submitted 01 October
- Empty vessels make the most noise Submitted 01 October
- It hit the trees 'cos the ball was too light Submitted 28 September
- Its not like a I do a lot of running anyway Submitted 28 September
- right lads, does everyone know Chris's name? Submitted 28 September
- Sam needs a swab Submitted 28 September
- It looked pretty good until it went over the bar Submitted 28 September
- ribs is ribs Submitted 28 September
- I angered him Submitted 28 September
- He pushed me offside Submitted 28 September
- - That small, bald headed kid over there, that's Smithy. - Didn't he also say ugly? Submitted 16 September
- Someone phone Marcus, he has a sub for next week. Submitted 16 September
- - Mike, you have the kit. - I can't, my mum is away. Submitted 16 September
- I thought donkeys were supposed to be old, but you changed that Ricky. Submitted 16 September
- That s the best damn tap water I ever had! Submitted 16 September
- - Go get some water! - What do you think I am, a reservoir? Submitted 16 September
- Lets have a Greyfriars boxing match. Submitted 16 September
- *pointing at dog poo on pitch* - who's shit on the floor? - It could be Crowley, he's shit on the floor and in the air... Submitted 15 September
- It's not illegal with your godmother. Submitted 15 September
- I can't make it Saturday. The dog is having kittens. Submitted 15 September
- Geoff takes a long time in the shower, well there is a lot of him. Submitted 15 September
- Most cider is pear isn't it? It's a serious point. Submitted 15 September
- Is that Ricky's brother? He can't be as ugly as Ricky! Submitted 15 September
- There might be something Jewish people need to do at 8 o'clock Submitted 06 September
- That was like a brick wall trying to trap a ball Submitted 06 September
- I felt quick Submitted 06 September
- (from the ref) Do I need to talk to you? Submitted 06 September
- I was obviously running too fast Submitted 06 September
- (From the opposition defender) Don't worry about these two up front, they're donkeys, but they keep scoring! Submitted 02 September
- - Kev O'Donnell. He is just a thug. - What did he do all game? - Beat up the opposition Submitted 19 August
- That number 7's a big one.. not talking about the bloke, the number on his back! Submitted 03 May
- There's no linesman for us today, so don't try and play the offside trap! Submitted 30 April
- Ask Paul 4 my official position. I'm omni-present! Submitted 25 April
- If that result was a woman, I'd chew my arm off to get away from it. Submitted 20 April
- And, the sun was in my eyes. Submitted 19 April
- I only passed to their striker to score because I was playing left back, but thought I was playing right back and kicking it out for a throw in. Submitted 19 April
- That was as good as me, no he's not. He hit the target. Submitted 16 April
- I was the one who sits and allows everyone to play around me Submitted 13 April
- You know everything Submitted 13 April
- He had hold of my shorts Submitted 13 April
- He's good off the ball........what, dancing? Submitted 13 April
- It bounced wrong Submitted 13 April
- I'm getting called slow, by Crowley? Submitted 13 April
- I fell over after 5 seconds Submitted 13 April
- (watching goal happen live on TV..) "I'd have given that goal offside" (watching replay clearly show goal was onside..) "Oh - I never saw it from that camera angle" Submitted 13 April
- In Sunday League football, you've literally got to behead someone to concede a free kick Submitted 11 April
- Wide, Kev! Submitted 11 April
- Why didn't you move for the penalty?.......I heard him kick the ground before he kicked the ball Submitted 11 April
- I didn't let any goals in, apart from the first one Submitted 11 April
- When you're a naturally gifted striker, you don't need to make any effort Submitted 11 April
- Can't we play three different teams for that double fixture? Submitted 11 April
- They'll be the only non-european team in the semi-finals... ...(of the Champions League) Submitted 11 April
- I'm going to get a hat trick Submitted 12 March
- There wasn't enough psychic talking Submitted 12 March
- His nickname's 'Herbs' Submitted 12 March
- Sorry about that, I'll be better next week Submitted 12 March
- It was the little man that did you Submitted 12 March
- It was elation, not deflation Submitted 27 February
- * "I feel like a badger at the start of the mating season. I don't know if you know anything about badgers, but they have to wait a very long time for the season to start and then they get two weeks to do all their mating. You can imagine what a badger feels like then - even the females can't wait for it! That's how I feel now. I'm absolutely chuffed to bits" Submitted 23 February
- luke, i am your son!!!!!!!!! Submitted 06 February
- Get your mouth round it and just keep sucking Submitted 05 February
- it was a great shot! you tapped it in from two yards! oh! Submitted 29 January
- Ricky, how does it feel to be taken off for jacko!!! Submitted 29 January
- i'm not as stupid as you Submitted 29 January
- jacko, what happened to that ball? 'what ball?' the one you had a shot with!!! Submitted 29 January
- He did really well today, because he usually spills a lot Submitted 28 January
- Hey Mickey, I didn't know you were Bulgarian! Submitted 20 December
- That was a cracker of an own goal!! Submitted 11 December
- I'm on fire, I'm scoring loads Submitted 08 December
- My goal has a force field around it Submitted 08 December
- Who are we playing? - Lawrence Rovers. - I should have gone shopping Submitted 14 November
- If I can't remember it, how can I feel any shame? Submitted 14 November
- Ask him who his Man of the Match is. - What if he says me again? Submitted 14 November
- I got a hairdryer to dry my shirt Submitted 14 November
- You kept us in it at 10-0 down Submitted 14 November
- Andy, have you got your kit? - What Kit? Submitted 14 November
- I did actually make a penetrating run Submitted 14 November
- I'm after the fair play trophy Submitted 14 November
- What Chris and Andy? Oh, Chris and Andy Submitted 14 November
- It's all a state of mind Submitted 14 November
- He couldn't catch a rat if it was in a box - if it was already in there Submitted 14 November
- The ball came over and I stood and watched it obviously Submitted 14 November
- I'll blame one on Rich Submitted 14 November
- What's the GFA Cup? Its like the FA Cup but much crapper Submitted 14 November
- That bloke was older than the whole team put together Submitted 14 November
- If I'd have wanted to score, you'd have never got near it Submitted 14 November
- Manning should be more selfish Submitted 14 November
- Absolute ballet Submitted 14 November
- I tried to suck the bloke Submitted 14 November
- I outpaced a 17 year old Submitted 14 November
- Do you live or work locally? I work in Switzerland Submitted 14 November
- Its like in cricket, it was a googly..... .....that was a bollock Submitted 14 November
- Gareth, keep in front of me - thirty degrees Submitted 14 November
- Damage limitation is to put him on the pitch Submitted 14 November
- I'm not doing any tackling today cos I'm a bit fragile Submitted 14 November